Tough talks
Last year, more than 90 people tragically lost their lives on South Australian roads. It’s a stark reminder that getting behind the wheel is no joke. And, whether you’re just starting your driving journey or it’s coming to an end, there can be some tough conversations about road safety. We speak to four people who have had these difficult driving discussions.
Words: Jeremy Rochow
Starting the driving journey
“You’re now at the wheel of a one-tonne lethal weapon.” Those were the words Matt Sarre’s dad said to him when he started his driving journey 36 years ago. At the time, he thought it was a cheesy thing to say to a new driver.
But he’s since given his three children the same piece of advice when they first took control of a car.
His youngest daughter, Ebony, learned to drive in late 2023, and the 17 year old is mostly positive about her driving experience so far.
“It has given me more independence, and honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without it,” Ebony says.
“I have two jobs about an hour away, and driving makes getting there so much quicker, easier and safer.”
Despite seeing her older siblings, Bek and Micah, learn to drive, Ebony had some jitters when she first climbed into the driver’s seat.
“I was most nervous about crashing when I first started learning to drive, but as time went on, those nerves went away,” she says.
“I was also scared of other drivers on the road, because I know they can be unsafe at times and cause crashes even when I’m doing the right thing.”
Matt says he felt a great sense of responsibility – and some nerves – when teaching each of his children to drive.
Matt Sarre and his daughter Ebony.
“Anytime someone else is at the controls of the car and doesn’t know what they’re doing, there’s a bit of fear of what will happen if they don’t listen to you.
“What if they plough into an intersection or slam into the back of someone?”
Arming his children with as much on-road experience as possible, Matt encouraged them to get out of their comfort zone while he was supervising.
For example, he encouraged them to drive on the busy Southern Expressway at night, and in poor weather while he was teaching them.
“I wanted the kids to experience as much as possible before they got in the car by themselves, so that could be when it’s raining or there’s lots of traffic,” Matt says.
Ebony has now been driving for about a year and is thankful her dad taught her how to drive.
“My dad loves to talk, so he would always give me lectures on the importance of specific aspects of driving,” she says.
“At the time, I was sick of them, but now, looking back, I’m so grateful for what he taught me.
“Both my parents taught me to never speed, show off, or break the law, and that I have to beware of other drivers’ behaviour on the road.”
Of course, Matt has the same worries and concerns that other parents have when their children begin driving.
“There is a lot of stupid behaviour on the road and it’s not just distractions like mobile phones,” Matt says.
“There are other things as well, like music and friends in the car. At the end of the day, you just want them to make good decisions, and you don’t want your kids to be one of those stories you see on the news.”
"There is a lot of stupid behaviour on the road and it’s not just distractions like mobile phones."
- Matt Sarre
Pete Stewart and his mum Di Stewart.
Hanging up the keys
Di Stewart is in her 80s and hung up her car keys for the final time about six years ago after a tough conversation with her son, Pete Stewart.
“Mum was having trouble identifying the lines on the road and staying on the right side of the road,” Pete says.
“I think she was lacking a bit of confidence in her own abilities with more people on the road than when she first started driving.”
Several behind-the-wheel incidents, including a collision with a parked car, prompted Pete to raise his concerns about his mother’s declining driving ability.
“Mum didn’t really pick up on these things either, so it was time to start that conversation about her giving up her driver’s licence,” Pete says.
The conversation was a tough one, with Di initially resistant about no longer driving.
“It was challenging because it felt like we were taking away her independence and ability to get out and do what she wants,” Pete says.
“But the discussions needed to be truthful and to the point, so Mum knew we were doing it for her own safety.”
Di was upset when her family told her that it was probably time to give up her licence and stop driving.
“I was a bit sad because I’d bought a brand-new little Honda Civic just 12 months before that and I didn’t really get my money’s worth,” Di says. “It was also inconvenient, and I didn’t want to lose my freedom.”
Recent data from advocacy organisation Road Safety Education found that younger people are no longer the most common group involved in fatal crashes. Instead, drivers aged 85 and above are now the most overrepresented group involved in fatal crashes.
While the data doesn’t suggest this is due to older drivers taking more risks, it does show that road safety is a lifelong responsibility and that the hazards change at different stages of life.
University of Sunshine Coast researcher Kyle Schofield (pictured) has studied the reasons why older drivers aren’t giving up their driver’s licence.
“We looked at doctors, and family and friends of older drivers and found that it’s uncommon for them to have these conversations with older people because of the sensitive nature of them,” Kyle says.
“We know that people who plan for driving retirement have a better outcome after they retire from driving. So, it’s really about having these conversations earlier instead of right at the point where [older people] need to retire from driving.”
Kyle’s research also found there were other barriers stopping people from giving up their licence, including fear of losing independence and even poor public transport infrastructure.
However, people who give up driving earlier are more likely to engage in healthier activities such as walking or bike riding.
When Di initially stopped driving, she relied heavily on family and friends to help her with transport.
“I’m not a lover of taxis so friends and family helped, but then I found this service called Driving Miss Daisy,” she says. “They pick me up at the door, take me to my appointments, wait for me and drive me home again – they’ve been an absolute lifesaver.”
IMAGES: Kyle Scholfield; RAA/Wil Stevens, Mike Lockheart.
Do you have a road safety question?
Speak to RAA’s road safety experts on 8202 4517 or email roadsafety@raa.com.au
IMAGES: Getty; RAA/Mike Lockheart.
